One of the first words a child learns is “No.” This word is powerful. Its impact creates a pattern for some people that prevents them from doing anything. For others, it creates a situation where they do everything because they are unable to say “No.” In either case we learn not to matter enough to do what we might actually want to do. Instead, we remain stuck or do projects we had no intention of doing.
At one time I fit in the group that could not say “No” and was very busy. Today Liz gets concerned that I could easily go down that path again, so she helps me discern the pros and cons of saying “Yes” or “No.” While I tend to keep a full schedule, I am not overwhelmed as I was when I could not say “No.”
“No” is a complete sentence and can be very helpful and healthy to use in this busy world. “No” sets limits and creates needed and necessary space to take care of ourselves. I hope you can say a healthy “No” this week.
We hear in many ways the need to be positive. Yet it seems to lack meaning and purpose when we repeat positive messages over and over again with no positive results. If being positive is so important, why is it so difficult to be positive? And how do we create positive energy in our lives?
When we are taught to hide our feelings, we learn we do not matter and we learn to hide our true selves. Our true selves are always positive, loving and caring, yet why do we not connect with ourselves this way? In hiding our true selves, we focus on more negative energy as a way to cope in our environment. This negative energy keeps us stuck and trapped.
For many of us, attempting to focus on the positive is difficult because it is unfamiliar. It is also scary to do something that is emotionally unfamiliar. When we are able to face the fear of the unfamiliar and feel the natural positive energy that is within us, the negative energy starts to decrease. A natural power starts to well up within that helps us realize we do matter in ways we were unaware of.
Focusing on our emotional truth—our true, straight feelings—is the first step in connecting with our positive energy.